34 Things About Me

(I update this list every year.)

1. I suck at tennis.
2. I marvel at people who can do crafts, really good crafts that last for decades and centuries.
3. I’m never going to be thin.
4.Funny people stimulate me, until I realize their shtick only goes so far.
5. Similar to #4, intelligent people stimulate me, until I realize their depth and breadth of knowledge only goes so far, and they aren’t willing to learn more.
6. I always thought I loved all people in a global political correct sorta way…but I really don’t.
7. After considered thought on the topic, I couldn’t give a shit who is president.
8. Nobody (else) ever advertises when they’ve screwed up, but they have.
9. There are limits for any one thing to give me pleasure.
10. I’ll never know everything, and I’m not even sure the things I know now are accurate.
11. There are a lot of great people who don’t know they’re great.
12. There are a lot of people who suck, who don’t know they suck.
13. I love lasagna. Even bad lasagna is good lasagna.
14. I laugh at the people who pour their heart out to Oprah, but you know I’d tell her anything, and cry like a baby, if I were invited on the show.
15. I’m not a guy, but I cringe at feminine hygiene commercials.
16. I can’t stand oysters, or even the thought of others eating oysters…ewwwwwwwww.
17. I don’t care how old he gets; I’ll always have a thing for Paul Newman.
18. I’m never going to be a role model.
19. Everyone has, or has had, aspirations.
20. Not everyone is going to like me, and if they don’t, why should I give a shit if they don’t? Pfft.
21. Every time I eat French silk pie, which I adore, it makes me sick to my stomach.
22. It’s just easier in the long run to do things the right way. Short cuts are always going to end up being more work.
23. Now I know why old people have so many quirks because the older I get, the more I pick up.
24. I’m reserving #24 for the stuff I’ll never tell anyone. ANYONE.
25. I like prunes.
26. I'm fascinated with anyone who can play the violin well.
27. There are people who have to concentrate hard just to be nice, and they aren’t fooling anybody.
28. I know I’ll never be refined and elegant. (Raised by wolves)
29. I like art, but if it looks like something I could have done, I don’t consider it art.
30. I’m sorry I lost touch with all the people I don’t know how to reach anymore.
31. I have a short list of family members I’ve added to my ‘strangers’ list, and they’re so self-involved they haven’t noticed.
32. It’s God’s little bastard joke that a woman who loves cheesecake as much as I do is lactose intolerant.
33. I want everybody to be happy, even people I don't like.
34. I turn 35 in June, which puts me in a different marketing bracket and that's just a little depressing.