Alright, I think I'm 8% guy.

I believe this to be the truth because when bad things happen 92% of me needs to sit on my sofa, eating a bag of cookies, watching movies until you can't tell where the sofa leaves off and I begin. I trim and polish my toes, I sent out resumes, as in this case, as I've just lost my job, or if I'm just depressed, I curl up to a pillow. The other 8% determines what I end up watching while I'm on the sofa, which tends to be The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, and war movies. Why? I mean, if you know me, I’m all girl. I love getting my hair done, my nails polished, reading (Alright, unlike most females I know, I read everything, including patently guy literature, biographies of notable war heroes and politicians, so that may be the 8% once again making itself known.) books and The New Yorker.

I know I'm a card carrying girl because I'm big into comforting others, caring for them, making sure everyone's well fed and somewhat well adjusted, comforting my friends in their time of need and I've been known to whip up the occasional carrot cake for someone else who is depressed or hurt. Carrot cake is the ultimate comfort food, followed up by lasagna, and finally the handy bag of cookies. I go for my third favorite first because I can eat a few cookies and be satisfied. I could eat a whole carrot cake and still want more carrot cake—a very dangerous proposition for my hips.

It's my choice of viewing material that I wonder about, being that 92% of me is girly fabulous. Why do the war movies and mafia revenge flicks make me happy? Is it that I would like to see the people who wronged me summarily put to death? That perhaps there's a justice to the world that is more direct and potent than composing a strongly worded letter to my congressman? Is it that watching the actors in 'Blackhawk Down' pretend to shoot at each other (As an aside, most of the actors playing American soldiers in this movie are, in fact, British or Australian. It's adding a sub-layer of construction to my depression that we can't find enough good American actors to play good American fighting soldiers. Of course, I could watch Ewan McGregor do anything, so he's a keeper no matter how mad I am at his countrymen for taking jobs from hardworking Americans.) disburses a the violence I feel toward the people who ousted me from my occupation? Is watching the Godfather therapeutic because I’m happy that somewhere in the world, at another time, someone sat down at a typewriter and thought up so many ways to kill off characters in his novel, which in turn made a filmmaker put it into a visual format? I wonder if the author knew I'd be enjoying his work during the 'bag o'cookie depress-athon', probably not, but I'm happy he wrote the book. Well done.

I think just the measure of revenge makes me feel stronger, gets out the violent streak you know I'd never bust out with in my daily life. I can't just assassinate the customer service people at 'The Arizona Republic' because they can never seem to get the Sunday newspaper to my front door. I can't call in Army Rangers to come in and set up a perimeter around my old office building and have them fire at it until they give me my job back. I can watch all these things happen on my DVD and step out of my world awhile.

For those concerned for my mental status, I've also been watching 'Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark' and all three of the X-Men flicks. I've been tossing some fantasy/violence into my revenge/murder/violence for good measure. What makes me look toward action flicks and war films for my dose of escapism? The 92% is deconstructing my psychological make-up while the other 8% would like the 92% to bring it a beer.